Stretch Arm Strong

I pretty much bit on the first stretching program that came along. It is the Gymnastic Bodies Stretch series. This program consists of three modules: Front Split (hamstrings), Bridge (shoulders) and Side Split (abductors). Each is about 40 minutes long and designed to be performed after a workout once per week.

Now let's get one thing straight, I hate stretching. I've never stretched for 40 minutes at a clip ever in my life. But, that's how I got to where I am. Something's gotta change. Hence my current status. The new Yak will tolerate stretching. For 40 minutes. Once for shoulders and once for hammies. In addition, I'm thoroughly warming up those two regions before all other workouts.

The coach of this program says to expect to see results in six to twelve months. Yeah. I think I can do better. (The coach also calls the ladies in the stretching video 'sweetie' and the guy 'big man' [On occasion, he'll also use their first names.]) I've got some serious room to grow. I can't even get into some of the positions they hold for two minutes. Seriously. Standing one-leg pike stretch!? No idea. Fold one leg behind you, press it to a wall and lean toward the other leg. Try not to fall on your head. I dare you. Send me videos/pictures/x-rays, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Anyway, I'm in this thing. I'm going to stick with it until I can do the splits like Van Damme. Or at least until I can do a mean indy stiffy.