PEDs For Stretching!?

We have a running joke in my family and with some other lifting buddies. Protein shakes are called 'BALCO shakes' and pre-workout concoctions are called 'Lance'. That's how crazy we get with the PEDs. Not very. That said, I'm doing what I can to make things easier for myself as I pursue my challenges. But my current challenge involves stretching, so what could I possibly use to enhance my performance? You'd be surprised. Here's the cocktail.

1.) A hot shower.

Yup. It could be as easy as that. I took a hot shower right before my second measurement and gained some inches. This came about after I read a story about pitcher Daniel Norris incorporating a hot shower into his warmup routine. If it's good enough for the pros and damn near free, why not loosen things up the easiest possible way? I mean, I was going to take a shower eventually anyway. 

2.) Magnesium

Magnesium is a know muscle relaxant and common deficiency among athletes. In fact, after vitamin D3, it's the most common deficiency in the developed world. Specifically, the one time I got blood work done through SpectraCell, Mg was one of my deficiencies. So I supplement. There's an easy way to know whether you're ODing on magnesium: you shit yourself. I've never gotten to this point, so maybe I still need more. It also helps me get to sleep if I take it near bed time, but then I get crazy vivid dreams, which I don't always like. As with everything, I'm no doctor; your mileage may vary. 

3.) Massage

One of my Christmas gifts this year involved an hour and a half massage plus two hours of sauna time. Fuckin' eh. That was great. Best gift ever. I don't care if it has nothing to do with stretching, I'm going to have to treat myself to that again. I should have retested immediately after the massage, I might have won right then. Little creaks I have in my knee, elbow and neck disappeared for weeks.

4.) Cannabis

It's legal where I live. Most of what I do is topical and from plants that I grew myself. I've never done this directly before stretching, but I often use it to help me sleep at night. Again, that dodgy elbow, neck and knee pain. This time the pain is usually back again the next day. I need to change my texting stance, that hurts my elbow more than anything.

5.) Fish oils

I take this stuff on the daily. First off, I start every day with Omega-3-enhanced eggs. Then I hit myself over the head with either a bunch of pills or spoons full of oil. I aim for a combo of up to five grams. 

That's it. Seriously. If you know of any good stuff for me to use on this quest, drop a suggestion in the comments. I've experimented with things like cissus quadrangularis in the past, but it's more expensive than the benefits it provides, in my experience. I've got some different collagen protein powders that I haven't really fucked with yet. At least not consistently enough to feel much of anything. The next big thing might be to stack four scoops of Lance with four Advils and hit the stretching sessions all Beast Mode. Go hard or go home, right?